


The curse that made me whole!

by MellQueenOfHell



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels are Dicks, Curses and witches, DEAN WINCHESTER IN PANTIES, Dean is cursed, Destiel - Freeform, Kinda, Sam Ships It, The Victoria Secret clerk ships it, a little feminin solo action, and I suck at summary, because oh yeah, duh - Freeform, gender swap, hence the «mature» tag, im bad at tagging, jack ships it, so please give this a chance XD, victoria secret - Freeform, well.. almost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 13:03:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13482048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MellQueenOfHell/pseuds/MellQueenOfHell
Summary: Will this curse helps Dean find the courage to face his feelings? Being a woman is not easy, but if someone can figure it out, it's Dean fucking Winchester. Right! Right?





	The curse that made me whole!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there :)  
> So for once I’m not too late on something I promised… Yeah, all heil for the Queen XD ok that’s enough. 
> 
> So, for those of you who are reading [Finding yourself](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8975446/chapters/20521174) this is the episode Lena is playing in. Well, not exactly. It’s a version of it, it’s a fanfiction version of it, because there is no way CW would have given us some of the things in there… Anyway, I hope you’ll enjoy :) <3
> 
> For the others, you definitely DON’T have to have read « Finding yourself » to understand that fic. You can just read and enjoy it ;) 
> 
>  
> 
> Alright, that’s all. I love you guys! Thank you for being here.

 

-You are a good man Dean Winchester, said Salina the witch they were now teaming with to hunt another witch.

-Yeah yeah whatever, I’m still not really happy about working with a witch.

-Though you know I’m not a menace.

-Make sure to remember it too, he said as a threat.

 

They found the witch, the bad one, it was a creepy old lady, selling hex bags to whoever could pay. For a moment, Dean debated about killing the one that had helped them, his true nature never far from the surface, but he did let her live. She really seemed harmless.

-Thank you, she said touching his arm.

-Just remember that if you ever do something wrong, my brother and I, we will find you.

-I know you will, she said still holding his arm. I will give you a little gift, she added.

-No thanks, he said trying to get his arm back but she was stronger than she looked.

-I insist. Cor tuum. Corporis. Animum tuum. A Donum ad communem vobis fore[1].

-Whoa, what the fuck, he said pushing her back.

-It’s just a gift.

-What is it?

-You’ll see, she said with a fond smile before disappearing in front of them.

-That was not an ordinary witch, said Sam.

-No shit. What did she do to me?

-Well, she mentioned your heart and your body so.

-You speak Chinese?

-That was Latin, he answered with his classical bitch face.

-Whatever!

 

 

////////////

 

 

When Dean woke up the next morning, he felt weird. As he stretched, doing his morning ritual, well the one he had when he wasn’t waking up in a hurry anyway, he felt tiny. And that wasn’t something he had felt in a very, very, long time. Curious, he looked at his hand and gasped in surprise. The fabric of his shirt was covering his hand, like it was clearly too tall for him. He sat on his bed, and as he looked down he noticed something else. Something that wasn’t supposed to be there, like at all. He took a handful of it and jumped out of his bed, knocking the nightstand lamp on his way to the mirror. He looked at himself in the mirror, his clothes were definitely too tall for him, and too big too. From his usual six feet tall, he must have lost at least six inches. What he had in his hand, that he had grabbed in his bed and still hadn’t let go of, were definitely boobs. He looked closer, his freckles were still there, _at least something remains_ , he thought. His hair was longer, to his mid-back, and curly looking like a beach-waves kinda day. His eyes were still green, but were a little bigger and more, transparent. By looking into them, he could see fear, and all kind of emotions that his male one was better at hiding.

-What the hell? he whispered for himself

 

At the same moment, the door of his room flew open and a very panicked looking Moose entered the room.

-What the hell Dean did you fall from your be…WOA, who the fuck are you, he asked noticing the woman standing in front of the mirror.

-Put the gun down Samantha, it’s me.

-Dean?

-Who else princess? he said annoyed.

-Seriously, you’re gonna use all the feminine nicknames you have for me? Now?

-Why not?

-You are the one with the boobs, said Sam.

-Oh that I do, said Dean fully grabbing his breast with a smirk.

-Why are you a woman?

-Hell if I know, he said with a shrug trying his best to remain calm, although there was a flow of emotion surging through him.

-Your heart, your body… that’s what the witch said.

-And?

-She must have cursed you.

-Fucking witches, he muttered under his breath, on the verge of tears.

 

 

////////////

 

 

Dean was sitting in the library, toying with his phone. Sam had told him to call Cas to ask him for help. The younger one was trying to locate the witch and thought that maybe Cas would be able to help with the task, or maybe even tell them if there was a way of changing Dean back into a man.

 

The phone passed, from his right hand to his left one, never once opening the dialing app. He couldn’t call Cas, not with the way he was feeling right now. There were so many emotions, it was a nightmare. And well, apparently what his male self had spent years to bury, his female version was having fun digging through. Finally, finally, he opened the contact list and went to « Cas », only to close it again. what could he say anyway, _hey Cas it’s me, oh yeah I know I sound like a chick it’s because I am one at the moment, would you mind coming to the bunker and comfort me?_ Not that he would, ever, say that to Cas, but that was kinda it. He needed his angel to be there, just be there for once. No he couldn’t say, in all these years he had never once mentionned to him how much it hurt every time he would leave, and he was not about to start now.

 

And fucking damn witches, not only did she have to give him a girl’s body, but she also had to change his mind? He slammed his hand on the table, only then realising that this woman’s body wasn’t as strong as his male one. He took his hurt fist close to his chest, trying, in vain, to chase the pain.

-I’m gonna kill that damn witch, he said.

 

-I found her, said Sam entering the room.

-Where is she? Dean asked standing up.

-In Australia, that’s where she vanished to last night.

-Australia. Right, great. Let’s track a damn witch into the land of gigantic spiders, he sighed falling back in his chair.

-She’s, uh, she’s actually on the phone, said Sam with an apologetic look.

-What? You have a witch on speed dial Sammy?

-No he doesn’t, said Salina over the phone, he does not even have my number. I called, because I knew you’d be having questions.

-Like hell I have questions, for starters, where are you and how do you want to die?

-Calm yourself Dean, said Sam.

-Like your brother told you, I’m in Australia. Now I believe you have received your gift.

-How do you call this a gift, it’s a freaking nightmare.

-You’ll see.

-Take it back.

-I can’t. It’s not an ordinary spell I put on you Dean Winchester. No hex bags to destroy, and even if you kill me, that won’t break it.

-So what I’m gonna be a chick for the rest of my life?

-That my dear, depends on you.

-Meaning?

-This gift has for only goal to help you. There is something hidden away inside of you, something strong and pure that needs to bet let out. Find it, and set it free. Only then, will you recover your male form.

-What? What the hell are you talking about?

-You must find out for yourself.

-And who is this chick anyway, Am I possessing some poor lady?

-No, it’s you. All very you. It’s what you would have looked like if you were born a girl.

-Can’t you give us a little hint, what are we looking for exactly? asked Sam trying to help his brother.

-You heart knows the answer Dean.

 

And then the line disconnected, and they were a little more confused than before. Dean seemed a little more set on killing the witch, while Sam was looking at his brother looking so small in his clothes. He had an idea what the witch was talking about, but hinting it to Dean could be catastrophic. If he wasn’t ready to hear it, he would punch him in the face, and even though his fist were a little smaller at the moment, a punch in the nose was still a punch in the nose. He had to be careful.

-Did you get a hold of Cas?

-Why? What does Cas has to do with any of this? he said, defensive all of the sudden.

-Nothing, except he is our best chance at fighting this, shrugged Sam.

-How, you’ve heard the witch, not even killing her would break this.

-Maybe Cas knows a special way to break any curses?

-Right, said Dean not convinced. Maybe, uh, maybe you should call him.

-Remember the time I prayed to him for a fucking year and he didn’t answer?

-I was thinking about a phone call Sam.

-Why me.

-Because I sound like a fucking chick.

-You are a chick.

-Whatever, bite me bitch.

-Jerk!

 

 

////////////

 

 

Cas arrived almost immediately after Sam’s call. Jack flew them inside the war room, and they both looked at Dean in surprise. Jack studied him with curiosity, while Cas stared at him, looking right in his eyes. That sure wasn’t the first time the two of them stared into each other’s eyes, but this time it felt different, stronger. And if Dean had butterflies in his stomach as he noticed just how fucking blue Cas’s eyes were, well nobody had to know.

-What happened? finally asked the angel.

-A fucking witch.

-Why? added Jack.

-Apparently it’s a gift.

-A gift? said both the celestial being, both titling their head to the side in incomprehension.

-Yeah, to help Dean access what his heart desires.

-Then you’ll be back to normal?

-That’s what she said, he said then smirking at his half joke.

-Then what is it that your heart desire? I can go fetch it for you, no matter where it is? I find it quite disturbing to see you in that…form.

-It’s not something you can just go and fetch Jack, said Sam.

-No? asked the Nephilim looking at Dean.

-I don’t know kiddo; I have no idea. I’m good, I’m… happy with my life, it’s not the best but I have my family, everything I need, _except maybe love_ , he thought

-There must be something you desire, otherwise you wouldn’t be in this situation, said Castiel.

-I think this witch is nuts, he said standing up only to trip on his pants, and landing in Castiel’s arms.

-Your clothes are too big, said the angel mater-o-factly.

-No shit Cas, it’s a wonder how you became such a good detective, he said with sass.

-Cas is right though, until we figure this out, you need clothes.

-I have clothes thank you very much.

-Clothes that fit you, can’t go on a hunt with pants too big.

-Fine, whatever.

-Let me grab my things and then we can go, said Sam.

-Nuh uh, I can go by myself, said Dean an idea already forming in his head.

-I don’t think it’s safe Dean, protested Sam.

-How come? Girls go shopping alone all the time.

-Right, huffed Sam. I’m not so sure about that, but that’s not the point. I mean, what if someone…

-What recognizes me, Sam have you taken a good look? I have boobs, and long curly hair… There is no way someone would recognize me like this.

-Unless it’s an angel, your soul is still the same Dean, argued Castiel.

-Well in that case, said Dean’s mouth before his brain could catch up and stop him, you are coming with me.

-Why him?

-Because, I don’t feel comfortable shopping bras with my brother, he said.

-Right, of course. Cas you go with him, and Jack and I are gonna… research.

 

 

////////////

 

 

-Why is that that you aren’t comfortable to shop clothes with your brother, but with me it’s ok? asked Castiel as he parked his truck into the shopping center parking lot.

 

They were about to take the Impala, but Dean felt too short to be driving her, so with one lingering look to his baby, a little pat on the hood and a little pout, he agreed to go into Castiel’s horrible pickup.

 

-I just wanted to spend time with you, he said, his eyes going wide at his boldness.

-Is there something you specifically need me to do?

-Nah man, I just… wanted to spend time with my best friend is all.

 

Cas didn’t answer, he just looked at Dean with a frown, not really understanding his friend’s change of attitude. Dean had never, not once, asked to spend time with him just for the sake of it. There was always something he needed, or someone they needed to kill, or an apocalypse to stop. He was, of course, more than happy to spend time with him, even if it was a little strange to stare at Dean’s feminine form, it was still Dean, still the man he loved deeply. And he realised that he was staring, well they were, because that was their thing, the staring, even Jack had noticed. Finally, Castiel smiled fondly and got out of the truck.

 

They walked in a comfortable silence until Dean spotted a store that seemed to agree with his taste. Cas smiled when he saw Dean caressing a red and black plaid shirt for woman and put it in his shopping cart. In the end, Dean found almost everything he needed in that store, from carefully styled ripped jeans, to funny t-shirt with inscriptions and more business clothes for FBI personifications, various colours plaid shirt and even an army green jacket. Next stop was for the shoes and, after looking and trying several work looking boot, he finally chose an classic pair of converse. Apparently his woman feet weren’t comfortable in boots, but Cas had the feeling that Dean just wanted to indulged in some comfort he wasn’t used too.

 

For a long moment, Dean debated with himself whether he should or not go into the store in front of him. There was underwear in the first store, the one he had found all the rest of his clothes, but the second Sam had mentioned shopping for clothes, he’d want to be there. He hadn’t indulged in that fantasy in a very long time, living so close with his brother all the time, but with being a woman, he could. And on the plus side, no one would question it.

-Are you going in or not? Finally asked the angel, leaning beside Dean to talk.

 

Dean shivered a little bit, feeling Castiel’s breath on his cheek,

-Yes, you, uh, you can wait on the bench here if you want.

-You don’t want me to go in with you? he whispered not to be heard.

-I, uh, I’d prefer if you could wait here, said Dean feeling that he was blushing.

-No problem Dean, this store isn’t that big and I’d be able to see if someone try to hurt you, he said a little closer this time.

 

 

Dean went in, and was immediately joined by one of the clerk, a tall and fit woman with straight brown hair. He would have probably try and hit on her if he wasn’t… well a woman himself.

-Hello there, said the clerk, my name is Tara, can I help you with anything?

-I, uh, I’m looking for underwear, he said almost with shyness.

-Well darling you are at the right place, said the Victoria Secret employee. Do you have a type, something you prefer?

-Panties, he blurted almost to quickly.

-Ooook.

-Uh, lace, I love lace and satin.

-Good we have all this, said the clerk with a smile.

-And I’ll need something for… well for, he gesticulated in front of his boobs.

-You need bras?

-Yeah that.

-Tell me honey, is that your first time treating yourself like this? asked Tara.

-Yes I uh, I usually go for anything that’s cheap and can be found in Walmart, he lied.

-Well, let’s take care of you, shall we?

-Yeah, ok.

-Tell me what’s your favorite color darling?

-Uh, blue, why?

-For your underwear of course, now every lady needs a black kit, but you can also go with colors that you like and suits you.

 

 

The clerk went to work, chosing panties and bras that she thought would fit Dean, in a way Dean was relieved because he wasn’t sure what to look for, he had never bought panties for himself, just wore them on some occasions, but now that the clerk was looking at it for him, she would give him size to fit this female version, and he would have loved to have some bigger ones. Some he could hide in his secret box, in the back of his closet. He was so far gone in his mind, that he hadn’t noticed Tara coming his way, with a basket full of beautiful looking things. She pushed him to the changing cabin, and took chalk out of a little basket. She raised her hand and paused in front of a little plate and smiled at Dean.

-I need to write your name on the cabin.

-Dean…na, he said correcting himself.

-Well Deanna, go in and try everything, tell me what you like and what you don’t, or even if you need me to go fetch another size. If you have trouble with the bras I can help you.

-Thank you, he said entering the cabin.

 

Once he was inside, he sat on the little bench. He mindlessly toyed with the fabric of some panties, and felt weird all in the inside. He smiled, knowing very well what his male body would feel in that instant. Slowly he undressed and tried everything. It all fit perfectly, he chose some, not needing that much, and put the rest aside. While he looked at the emerald green panties, the last he had tried and by far his favorite, an idea formed into his head. He smiled, and opened the door just slightly to see Tara, patiently waiting for him. From the corner of his mind, he saw that Cas had entered the store, probably wanting to be a little closer since he couldn’t see Dean inside the cabin.

-Is everything ok honey? asked Tara.

-Yeah, everything was perfect, but, uh, do you think you could give me these one, he had the green and a magenta one in his hand, two size bigger?

-It’ll be a little too big no?

-I, uh, it’s… it’s for later, he said hoping she would just go and stop asking questions.

 

She smiled fondly at him, then leaned a little to make sure no one could hear her,

-Does he know? she asked.

-What?

 

With a slight movement of her head she pointed Castiel, standing beside a rack of lingerie.

-I, uh…

-It’s ok honey, but you should tell him.

-This, he tried telling something but he wasn’t entirely sure what she was referring too.

-Hey don’t worry, that’s none of my business, but seeing as how he looked at you, this guy will be thrilled. Plus, some men really like to see their wife pregnant.

-Pregn… oh n… he was about to denied it, but then he stopped, if the clerk thought he was pregnant she would stop asking question, and more importantly knowing that she thought Cas wasn’t aware, she would be discreet about it. Thanks, he finally said.

-No problem sugar, I’ll let you put back your clothes and I’ll be waiting by the register.

 

 

-Did you find everything you needed? asked Castiel as Dean got out of the store.

-Yep, all set.

-No more stop?

-No, well I, uh, _what the fuck with all the stuttering_ , he thought to himself, I thought we could go grab a bite or something.

-As you know I don’t need sustenance, but if you are hungry.

-I am, but it’s cool we can just go back at the bunker, no problem, he said with a heavy feeling on his chest.

-Dean, I’d be more than happy to share a meal with you, I meant that you should chose.

-Oh, well I was thinking burgers.

-Maybe I’ll order something then.

-Do burgers still make you very happy? he said chuckling.

-A little less than before, but I really do love them.

-It’s a date then… I mean, you know.

-Lead the way, said Castiel amused by Dean’s behaviour.

 

 

////////////

 

 

A couple of days went by, and Dean was starting to think that he would stay a woman for the rest of his life. The first days were difficult, where he wasn’t unexperienced with woman in general, being one was something totally different. First he had to figure out to properly comb his now very long and very inconvenient hair, and thanks to Pinterest, _yeah he downloaded the app on his phone so what?_ he now knew how to braid his hair to the side and how to do a perfectly messy bun on top of his head.

-Why don’t you get an haircut? suggested Sam the first time he saw Dean fighting with his hair.

-No need I can figure something.

-It’s not like you need long hair anyway, the younger one insisted.

-You neither Samantha, still you insist on keeping’em long, he said roughly.

 

The truth was, and he was having issues explaining this even to himself, he felt pretty with his long hair and couldn’t imagine short ones. He loved them, he just needed to figure something first. Sam seemed to understand because he didn’t bring the subject back.

 

Another thing Dean realised about being a woman was how easy it was to get pleasure, while having a cock was pretty easy and getting it up was too, women could come several times in short periods. He knew that, of course, but experiencing it was wonderful. He spent a day, a whole fucking day, hiding in his room playing with his body. He tried everything, gently rubbing his pussy, pushing one finger inside, two at some point, even doing the rubbing thing while having fingers inside, that was his favorite thing so far. By the end of that day, he dug through his nightstand and found his lube, he knew women didn’t need it, but he figured he might try to see if it was any better. While all of his thoughts had been pretty ordinary for the day, he was running out of things to think about as he started again to rub his pussy, if he was honest with himself he was starting to get a little sore, but the pleasure was also still there so he continued. He was wearing his blue panties, having put them back just to feel sexy, and his mind wondered to another blue thing he liked very much, Cas’ eyes. Soon enough, it was images of Cas flooding through his mind as he touched himself. Cas’ lips on his, gently stroking his cheek, Cas’ hardening cock against his belly, Cas’ long fingers inside of him,

-Fuck yeah, he moaned a little too loudly for his taste.

 

He had started with just the clitoris, but with images of Cas, his own lubed fingers were now poking into his asshole, imagining how great it would feel if he was in his male body. It was still pretty good, the area was still a sensible one, but he knew what was hidden inside _his_ ass, and he knew it would be great to feel Cas in it, to feel his gorgeous body over his, pining him down on the mattress as he pounded into him. He didn’t know why, but he had the feeling the angel would be very dominant in bed. Poking faster and rubbing a little harder with his other hand, imagining his angel holding him firmly, he came, his whole body giving in to the sensation. He fell asleep after that, exhausted by his day of experimenting with this new body.

 

 

////////////

 

 

-I found a case, said Sam on day six of Dean’s curse.

-Ok?

-Here, in Lebanon. Three women disappeared last week, no bodies were found, no witnesses, no traces.

-First time we got a case so close, Hell we would probably be able to come back here at night.

-Yeah, so you in? Or you want me to ask Jody or Claire?

-Why wouldn’t I be in?

-Well you…

-‘cause I’m a chick, come on Sammy, you just proposed two female replacement for me anyway. I’m smaller and tinier, but I bet I could still kick your ass.

-Yeah ok, whatever. Let’s head out and interview families.

-After you Samantha, said Dean knocking the rest of his beers in one gulp.

 

 

Turned out the case a little more complex that they had first thought. The victims had nothing in common, except maybe the fact that they were looking alike. But a lot of ghosts or creatures had this m.o always going for victims that looked similar because they reminded them of someone, or whatever sick thing their monster brains would make up.

-I seriously don’t see it, there is nothing, sighed Sam.

-Nothing?

-I’m telling you, no death or disappearance before this fit in. There is nothing.

-Maybe it’s new, maybe a new vampire has a kick for green eyed, reddish brunette and just arrived in Kansas.

-What did you just say? asked Sam suddenly aware.

-That a monster just arrived, he answered without understanding.

-Not but, about the girls.

-Green eyed, reddish brunette?

-Did they all have freckles?

 

Dean check the pictures a little closer,

-Yeah?

-Dean, whoever is doing that, I think they’re looking for you.

-Me?

-Green eyes, reddish brunette, freckles.

-But I’m a guy, he protested.

-Not at the moment no.

-Nobody knows that.

-That what we thought. Maybe the word got out.

-That still doesn’t tell us what is looking for me?

-We should call Cas.

-May…maybe, said Dean feeling afraid all of the sudden.

 

Sam stood up and walked to his brother, concern showing in his eyes.

-Are you ok?

-Yes, he said promptly.

-You don’t look ok man.

-I don’t know Sammy, I feel all weird inside. My heartbeat his going faster, my palms are sweaty, I…

-You’re afraid.

-What? NO!

-Dean! I don’t think the changes were just physical, it’s chemical too. While it’s not as true as books and films want us to think, woman are closer to their emotions and a little more sensitive in certain areas.

-But I,…

 

And then Sam did something neither of them expected, he kneeled in front of his brother and took him in his arms.

-It’s ok Dean, we’re gonna figure this out.

-I’m so tired of this, sobbed Dean.

-I know, I know… shh, said Sam rocking the older one in his giant arms.

-I’m crying like a chick, said Dean in an attempt to ease the situation.

-It’s ok, sometimes it helps.

-Help to what?

-To let go of things, to ease your pain, to regain some strength.

-I don’t feel that strong right now.

-You are still Dean Winchester.

-No I’m Deanna, he said chucking.

-Whatever, you are still the strongest person I know.

-Thank you Bitch, he said holding his brother tightly.

-Jerk!

 

 

////////////

 

 

-Angels? Man are you hundred percent sure? asked Dean once again staring into Castiel’s eyes.

-Yes Dean. I don’t know how but they’ve heard that you were, well cursed and they thought they could get a hold of you while you were, uh, weaker.

-I’m not weaker, he pouted.

-I know you aren’t, but they are angels.

-You mean they are dicks.

-They don’t understand humanity like I do, for them women are weaker, and they are in the idea that because you are currently a woman, they have a chance at getting you.

-But you said angels would recognize me by my soul, so why are they capturing these women.

-They are luring you out. They know very well these women aren’t you.

-They are sick.

-I agree.

-Let’s go find them.

-Dean no! protested Castiel.

-Cas! he shouted, I’m not gonna let any other woman get hurt for me. Let’s find them, and then let’s kill those sons of bitches.

-You wanna play bait? asked Sam.

-Why not?

-How many are they? inquired the younger Winchester.

-At least six of’em.

-Good thing we have an angel and a Nephilim in our ranks then, said Dean patting the back of his brother’s back.

 

 

The four of them prepared to fight, they had a good plan. Cas knew where the angel’s « hideout » was so Dean would just walk near it and when the angels would try and catch him, Cas would step in front of them while Jack made sure Dean was safe. It was a good plan, except by now the other angels knew very well that where Dean Winchester was, Castiel wasn’t far. A trap was set to send Castiel miles away, Jack couldn’t react fast enough and the angels disappeared with Dean.

 

-Dean Winchester, said one of the angel.

-Random angel, answered the hunter.

-Who would’ve thought, in a woman’s body. How do you like it so far uh?

-I’m still gonna kill you you know, man or woman.

-Is it easier for you to face your pathetic feelings for my brother this way? I bet you asked for it, you must have secretly asked for it, she said laughing hysterically.

-Laugh all you want bitch, but when I get out of these handcuffs, you’re dead.

-And how exactly are you planning on doing that? You have no weapons, no way of communicating with Castiel.

 

Dean smiled, what they didn’t know was that he had forgotten to do laundry, so that morning he was stuck with one of his old shirt. Which was too big, so he had lightly roll the sleeve and attached them with the first thing he had found, a bobby pin. One of the angel was in a cop vessel, so the only thing they had restrained him with, were handcuffs. He continued to chat with them, while silently working his way out of it.

-So tell me Dean, did you finally make a move?

-A move?

-Yeah, I mean come one, all heaven knows you and Castiel are in love.

-I’m not, we are not…

-Keep lying to yourself, it quite funny.

-Wanna know what’s funny bitch? he asked.

-Uh?

-You, on the ground, dead.

 

Then he jumped out of his chair, quickly took the angel blade, his angel blade, that hey had disposed not so far from him, _amateur_ , and stabbed her in the chest. Another one jumped on him, but he was quicker and stabbed him too. At the same time, Sam and the others emerged into the room, and the battle was over pretty soon.

 

Dean was in a good mood once he entered the bunker, nothing was better than a good fight to put him back on his feet. They ate pizza, drank beers and the ambiance was pretty good. Dean was still angry about being a woman, but he had shown himself that day that no matter what he was still a hunter and a pretty good one too. He was lost in his daydream, when Cas’ phone rang and the angel got up. Dean watched him walk to the stairs, talking.

-Alright, I’ll be there.

-Who was that?

-One of my contacts, they had a lead on some rogue angels that are killing innocent.

-Angels again, sighed Dean.

-Yeah, but they are far away I’ll handle it, he said leaving Dean with the heavy feeling on his chest once again.

-We can help, tried Sam.

-No, it’s… I’ll go.

 

Dean looked at him, his expression blank. Castiel was climbing the stairs, once again about to leave them. The hunter had watched his friend leave countless of times, never saying anything, keeping his emotions in check but that time, it was too much. Maybe it was the fact that he was a woman now, the emotions always too present but he kinda snapped.

-WHEN ARE YOU GONNA STOP LEAVING ME, US! he said trying to correct himself at the end.

-Dean I…

-You are always leaving Cas, always. We can track these bastards together. You don’t have to leave me again.

-Dean.

-Us, I meant us.

 

Still sitting at the table, Sam smiled, if his doubts were justified, Dean was about to have his rightful body back. He tugged at Jack’s sleeve and stood up.

-I think you guys have things to talk about, he said leaving the room.

-Dean…

-Not here, he said contourning the angel and heading to the garage.

 

 

////////////

 

 

After pacing a little bit in the garage, Dean took comfort in sitting on the trunk of the Impala staring in front of him. He knew he had no choice but to talk, his little outburst being the cause he had no choices.

-Dean, said Cas now really close to him.

-Don’t do that Cas, he said trying to look away.

 

Cas placed his hand under Dean’s chin and lifted it, bringing his wonderful green eyes to his blue one,

-Dean, I know you want it, as much as I do.

-I do Cas, he said staring back at him.

 

Dean licked his lips, feeling warm and dizzy from Cas’ proximity.

-Then why can’t you, even in this body, give in to this? Will you ever be able to…

-Cas, said Dean putting his hand on the angel’s cheek.

-Dean, it’s…

-Shh! I, I can’t do this. While I feel everything as if it was really me, it’s not.

-I don’t understand.

-I want to kiss you, but I want to kiss you with my lips.

-What if you never get your body back?

-I…

-Please Dean, I’ve been waiting for so long, almost pleaded the angel.

-What if you don’t want to kiss me anymore once I’m a man again because you preferred that form?

-Impossible. I think you are a very attractive woman Dean, but I, uh. I’m more interested when you are you.

 

Dean smiled, a soft fond smile and leaned forward. Still sitting on the trunk, Cas was now between his legs and very close. Their lips barely touched, just a light brush when suddenly a light emerged from Dean. In a matter of second, he was back into his body, in the clothes he had worn when he encountered the witch. Cas looked at him, a little scared, scared that now that the spell was broken, Dean would go back to denying what was between them, but the hunter smiled and brought him closer.

 

They kissed, for minutes, hours, days…who knows? Finally, they were kissing, after all this time, all theses years of pinning, they were finally kissing. Pulling back for air, Dean smiled against his angel’s lips. He stepped back a little bit to stare into his eyes.

-Heya Cas.

-Hello Dean, said the angel fondly.

-Just in case it wasn’t clear, said Dean with a smirk, I love you.

-And I you Dean, I’ve loved you for a very long time.

 

 

////////////

 

 

Near the garage door, Sam and Jack were smiling like fools.

-Fucking finally, said Sam.

-Is love always that complicated? asked Jack.

-No Salina, it’s not, said Sam winking at the Nephilim before they both high-fived and fleed before getting caught.

 

[1] Your heart, your body. Your spirit. A gift, for your desire.

**Author's Note:**

> ***Spoilers***  
> Ok so just so we are clear. I could have put that part into the story but I didn't feel like it. In my mind, Sam only figured Jack is Salina near the end. Because Jack insisted on spying on them, and snap his fingers when they almost kissed ;)


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